A year has come and gone

A year has come and gone.  In some ways I still can't believe it.  The last few months I have started to feel more like myself again, more like the woman I used to be.  I like that parts of my personality are coming back and that I can start to define myself again.  I feel like I didn't really live this year.  I endured this year.  I spent many many moments crying and almost functioning without thinking, just going through the motions.  Sometimes when I think about how I don't have my husband and son anymore, I can't even begin to understand how to make it through this.  Honestly, there were many moments when I begged Heavenly Father not to make me go through this anymore.  I felt like it would be merciful if I too could join my family.  I have never wanted to die, but knowing where my family is makes me so anxious to join them.  Choosing to live this life has been so hard.  I don't want this life, but I am living it.  I am trying to find happiness where I can and gratitude for my blessings.  I am truly learning to accept God's will in my life.  That has been a struggle for me this whole year.

My testimony has never been challenged so much and yet it has never been stronger.  I know that what I believe is true.  I know that there is a Savior who came to this earth and who died for us that all mankind can live again.  I know that I will see them again.  I know that we will be reunited with our loved ones who have passed on, and that because of our Savior, we will live again.  I know that our Heavenly Father loves and knows each one of us and that by putting our trust in Him we can endure any trial or test that is put before us.  I know that we are here to experience those trials and tests and that if we endure them well we will have eternal life.

I listen to church music in the morning when I get ready for work.  I listen to the scriptures on tape when I drive to work and I read them again at night.  I start each morning and end each night with a prayer.  I am striving to feel the Holy Ghost every day.  Those moments when I feel love and peace are the moments I strive for.  I feel such a contrasting difference when I feel despair and lack of hope.  I think often about faith, hope, and charity.  I know that is the way to return to my family again.  I go back and forth between having those qualities, but I really am striving to live my life daily where I can have faith in God's plan for me, hope for my life and the time when I can hold my family again, and charity for others who are in need.  I am striving for that everyday.  It is not easy by any stretch.  Everyday it is a choice, a continual choice.

The year mark was very tough.  I was with family and friends so it actually made that day very special.  We ran a 10k in their memory and spent the day doing things my family would have done.  We went to an indoor bounce house in memory of Jace and his love to play.  We went to a buffet in memory of Sheldon and his favorite way to eat.  We watched a DVD tribute to their lives and released balloons.  I felt so much love from everybody.  I loved getting on Facebook and my email to see all the messages from my family, friends and even strangers who I have never met.  I loved the flowers and gifts and all of the sweet birthday cards that were sent in the mail.  I loved that we were celebrating my family on my birthday.  That is how I would want to celebrate my birthday.  I thought for a long time how terrible it was that they passed away on my birthday, but I actually feel grateful to have so many remembering them on my birthday.  That is the best gift anyone could give me.

I feel like the week after my birthday was the hardest.  That feeling of loneliness overwhelmed me as I thought about what my week would have been like with my family.  I hate being alone.  I hate not having Sheldon to talk to and Jace to play with.  I hate not having them right next to me.  I hate that I didn't get to celebrate with them.  Sheldon was planning such a fun birthday celebration for me last year that never happened.  We were going to go to the Great Wolf Lodge and spend two days at the indoor water park.  I want that life back.  I want to go back a year ago and be with them there.  We found my birthday cake in Sheldon's car last year that he had bought for me.  I found the blank birthday card he never filled out that he had bought for me.  Instead of so much fun together, our family experienced the most traumatic events possible.   A year later, I am still learning how to live this life without them.  I miss my family.  I miss them and I love them.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has reached out to me this year.  Thank you for the donations, the kindness, the service, the gifts, the kind messages, the prayers, and your love.  Thank you for allowing me to see Christ like attributes and the goodness in life.  Thank you.  I could not have made it through this year without my family, friends, and strangers supporting me.

With love and gratitude,

Julie

  

The Rock of our Redeemer

Today in church these two verses really stood out to me during Sacrament Meeting:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

“And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.”  Helaman 5:12

The meeting was about enduring and agency.  I felt so uplifted after taking the Sacrament.   I love the feeling of knowing that I am renewing that covenant with my Father in Heaven and promising to keep His commandment and remember Him.  I always feel stronger after taking the Sacrament and I am so full of gratitude for our Savior and His sacrifice for us.  I was thinking about if Sheldon and Jace have met Jesus yet.  That might be a weird thing to think about but I really was contemplating that out of all the people in the world that our Savior knows each one of us and what that would be like to be able to meet Him.  I was hoping that they have met Him.  I was wondering what it will be like when I meet my Savior.  I want to be worthy and clean.  I want to kneel at his feet and thank Him for what He has done for me and for my family.  I am so thankful that because of His sacrifice that we can be resurrected and live again.  I am so thankful for repentance and the opportunity to make commitments each Sunday to live my life better, to strive a little harder, and to keep His commandments. 

I think the versus really stood out to me because I realize that I am so far from understanding or even comprehending why this has to be for our family, why I have to be here and they are not, why I have to live through this.  I realize that I probably will never know.  But I do not want to waste this life.  I want to prove that I can make it through this trial of not being with them.  I want to prove that I do trust in God and His path for me and my family.  I will continue to take strength from my Savior and have Him as my foundation and my rock.  I am so thankful for my testimony.  I couldn't have gotten through these ten months without it. 

I love you Sheldon and Jace. 

Faith, Hope, & Charity

Four months ago I lost my husband and my son.  Most days it feels like it just happened and everything in between is a blur.  I remember our last few days together so clearly.  I keep replaying them in my mind.  Some days I feel strong and some days I feel very weak.  Some days I feel comfort and some days I am inconsolable.  I cry off and on all day even on my strong days.  I keep wondering how I can endure this?


I finished the Book of Mormon in June.  I have been reading every night from Sheldon's scriptures and every time I do I remember reading them together.  We tried to read every night and Jace and I would listen while Sheldon read to us.  I would read the same chapters by myself when Jace was napping.  Lately I have just been turning to random chapters and reading.  I have been amazed how I turn to a scripture that I need to hear the most that day.  I have especially been enjoying reading from Moroni.  In Moroni chapter 7 it talks about faith, hope, and charity.  Those fundamental principles are something I cleave to.   


33 “And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.”


41 “And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.”


47 "But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him."

48 "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."  

Some days my faith is so strong.  Some days my faith is so weak.  I wonder how I will make it through this.  I wonder how I can keep living when the pain is so deep.  I know that it is through my Savior.  I do have faith in Him.  I do believe that there is life after death.  I do believe that I will hold Sheldon and Jace again.  I do believe that we are accountable for how we live our lives.  I do believe that it is through the Savior and his atonement and resurrection that we can one day return to live with our Father in Heaven again and live with our families forever.  That is something that I am looking forward to everyday.  I have been shown charity over and over again.  I have seen pure Christ-like love in action.  I am trying to show that love to others.  I will continue trying throughout my life to develop those attributes.  I know that I can return to my family and I will live my life to make sure I can.  That is how I will endure this.  

I love you Sheldon and Jace.    

    

Heavenly Father's Love

I often feel that Heavenly Father is aware of me and loves me.  Today I felt that love so strongly.  I know He is aware of me and I know He loves me.  Today in the mail I received a letter from President Monson, addressed to me, expressing his condolences and offering guidance to me.  It brought me to tears and still does to think that a prophet of God thought about my circumstances and prayed for me.  He acknowledged the loss of my husband and son and wrote a letter to me that brings so much comfort.  My mom told me she wrote President Monson a few weeks expressing her love for the gospel and the comfort it has brought our family through this tragedy.  President Monson replied to her letter and shared that he was grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the gift of the Holy Ghost.  He said he prayed that we would feel Heavenly Father's love and peace promised by the Lord Jesus Christ when He said: "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you...Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you" (John 14:18, 27).  He signed the letter, "Sincerely your brother."  I am so thankful for my mother and that she wrote to President Monson and that I have this letter.  I have felt that love and peace from my Savior and I am so thankful for a prophet who leads and guides our church.  I am so thankful for a prophet who would take time to write a woman who has suffered so much, that he would share words of comfort and guidance, and pray for me.  

Be patient in afflictions

I miss my husband and son so much.  Today I was thinking how easy it would be for me to curl up in a ball on the floor and never get up. The pain is so deep and so debilitating.  It is a struggle every day and as I kneel down in prayer I am reminded again and again that I have a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of me, who loves me, and who has a greater purpose for my life and my eternal life with my family than I can truly comprehend.  The knowledge that our little boy is guaranteed eternal life and that we can once again be reunited is my Balm of Gilead.

"Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days." Doctrine and Covenants 24:8.  I will endure and I will continue to endure throughout this life until my earth life is finished and we will be reunited again.  When I went to women's conference a few months ago I was so touched by the artwork on the program cover.  To me, this picture symbolizes the end of a very difficult journey, and the wife before entering into the Salt Lake valley, turns and praises God for their arrival.  I love how the picture shows a husband, wife, and son.  Every time I look at it I cry because of what it symbolizes for our family, that when this journey is through, I will praise God for his mercy and love, and we will enter His presence together.  I pray I can be strong like that woman on in the painting.   I pray I can live my life in a way that will make Sheldon and Jace proud.  I pray I can endure.  I love you Sheldon and Jace.    

I Will Follow God's Plan

I have been going to the temple every week.  It's been such a blessing and I am so grateful for the temple and the promise of eternal families.  That promise means everything to me.  When I went last week I started thinking about the lyrics of this primary song and I was imagining Jace singing that to me.  Finding my purpose and the reason I was left behind is a continual struggle.  I am so grateful for that glimpse of knowing a little bit more about who I am and why I am still here.  I love you Sheldon and Jace.


"I Will Follow God's Plan"


My life is a gift; my life has a plan.
My life has a purpose; in heav’n it began.
My choice was to come to this lovely home on earth
And seek for God’s light to direct me from birth.
I will follow God’s plan for me,
Holding fast to his word and his love.
I will work, and I will pray;
I will always walk in his way.
Then I will be happy on earth
And in my home above

Sheldon's Testimony of the Book of Mormon

Sheldon spoke at a fireside for the youth in our church a few weeks before they passed away.  He created a PowerPoint about the importance of the Book of Mormon before, during, and after his mission.  I love reading it.  I am so grateful I have it.  On one of the slides Sheldon wrote a list of how the Book of Mormon affected his life after his mission.  We would try and read the Book of Mormon together every night as a family.  I love thinking about those times and how much it strengthened our marriage and our family.  We had a goal as a family to read the entire Book of Mormon starting in January of this year and being done by General Conference in April.  We were on track to finish that goal.  Since everything happened I have been trying to continue on with our goal.  I think I will be finished in the next few weeks.  Reading from the Book of Mormon has given me so much comfort and peace when I need it the most.  I feel like I can't go a day without reading from it because I need that strength every day.  I hope that Sheldon and Jace are watching me continue on with our family goal.  Thank you Sheldon for being such an amazing and loving husband and father.  I love you.

Sheldon's List

¨We read the Book of Mormon every night

¨Shows the importance to Jace

¨Brings us closer as a family

¨Provides comfort knowing

that Jesus loves us, we can

repent of our sins and that we

will be an eternal family

¨Helps our family draw nearer

 to God

Trust in the Lord

  Everyday I miss them, all day, all the time really.  I am in the humblest place I have ever been.  I have never spent so much time praying, pondering, and reading my scriptures in my life.  I have prayed and prayed that the Savior will help me carry this burden.  I cannot do it alone.  I have felt that burden lifted many times by all of you.  Thank you.  So many have done kind things for me.  I am so grateful.  Every little note, every phone call, every donation, and every act of service touches my heart and helps me get through each day.  As I am sitting here writing this I am listening to music that was given to me as a gift from Chad Woolner.  He is an acoustic guitar player and he wrote me an email giving me a code to access and download his music.  I have been listening to it everyday.  It brings me comfort and helps me feel the spirit.  Thank you Chad.  They are adoptive parents too and I have felt so much love and support as the adoptive community has reached out to me.  For anyone who has adopted a child, they know that miraculous path of becoming parents through adoption.  Adopting our son was our miracle.  We saw Heavenly Father's hand in the planning of our family and we truly learned how to put God's will above our own.  One of my favorite scriptures is, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6.  I really do believe that through our struggle to bring Jace to our family, I have truly learned how to do that.  I have and continue to put my trust in the Lord.  I know He will comfort me and He will not leave me alone.  I trust in His will for our family and the path that I am now traveling alone.  When I feel anxious, upset, or sad about that path, I feel so much comfort when I turn to Him in prayer.  I know that keeping His commandments gives me the comfort of knowing that He is guiding me.

I was thinking about how I learned that concept through our seven year struggle with infertility.  How everything felt so right when we started the adoption process, and how we were blessed with the most beautiful baby boy.  I knew the moment he was placed in our arms, that Heavenly Father's plan was far greater than anything we could have hoped for.  Jace was so perfect and he is still so perfect.  He taught us so much.  He taught us that happiness is all around us and to never take that for granted.  He taught us how to love each other and him more deeply than we have ever loved.  He taught us that Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be happy.  I remember how excited he was every week to take the Sacrament at church.  He would always notice when the Deacons would bring the bread and water to us and he was so anxious for his turn.  After he took the bread he would always look at me and say, "Water coming."  I loved whispering in his ear that he should think about Jesus.  We loved teaching him about Jesus, but I really feel like it was Jace who truly taught us about Jesus.  “But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.   Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.”  Luke 18:16-17.  Jace, I will strive everyday to be more like you, so that one day we can all enter His kingdom together hand in hand.  I love you Sheldon and Jace.

http://chadwoolner.bandcamp.com/

My faith

Mormon.org Profile

Joy

I'm not sure exactly what I am hoping to share in this post.  Mostly just some experiences that I had this week. I went to Utah this week with my mom, aunt, and cousins.  We attended women's conference at BYU together.  I had a good day.  I pray for good days.  I felt so uplifted by the talks that were given.  I needed that boost.  I felt the love my cousins, sister-in-law, aunt, and my mom have for me.  I have felt so grateful for family relationships and how much they mean to me.  Throughout this whole ordeal I realized that friends and family are so important.  I know I always took them for granted.  I know I will never do that again.

I wrote down in my journal thoughts I had from that day.  It was emphasized throughout all the classes the importance of prayer, scripture study, temple attendance, service, living high standards, and being grateful.  One woman who presented said that her friend with cancer has never had more happiness than she has since she was diagnosed.  I turned to my sister-in-law and asked her if she believed that could be possible.  I was thinking about my situation.  I don't think I could ever fathom saying that.  Talking with my mom later, we thought maybe it is a different kind of happy.  A deeper, more appreciative feeling for when happy moments occur.  When I am feeling really sad, I try to think of my little boy running into my arms and all three of us holding each other.  I cry and cry when I see pictures of us touching.  I want so badly to put my arms around them and kiss them.  One of the presenters said that joy is available to all, that we have to choose joy.  I hope that I can choose joy.

I went with my mom to pick out their headstones.  I still am in shock that I am doing things like this.  We went and visited their graves and I had a melt down inside.  How can they be in the ground and not be alive anymore?  How did this happen?  Why did this happen?  How can I live through this?  We left the cemetery to buy some flowers and when we came back I tried to think of how that place will eventually be a place of happiness.  It will be the place where we are reunited.  I tried to only think about that, and it did help me.  I talked to them.  It felt really good.  I hadn't been able to do that yet.  I hope they heard what I said.  I hope they know how I long for them.

One scripture stood out to me during the conference at BYU.  It is found in 2 Nephi 2:25-26.

"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.   And the Messiah cometh in the fullness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall."  I know that our Savior will redeem us from the fall through the atonement.  That is my joy.

I love you Sheldon and Jace.  

Mormon Messages-Eternal Truth

What I Believe

I have spent lots of time thinking about my blog and all the people that are reading it now.  I felt like I should share the talk I gave at the service in Washington for Sheldon and Jace.  I did not speak in Utah, I wasn't able to do it again.  Speaking really took its toll on me.  But now, I really would like to share how I feel and I am grateful I have this blog so I can share with everyone who reads it.    

My Talk

I would like to start out by thanking everyone for the kindness and generosity.  I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support I have felt.  I felt all the prayers.  I have felt angels all around me in the form of family, friends, ward members, and people I have never even met who are reaching out to help me through this tragedy.  I am so thankful for the tribute that has been paid to my sweet son and my handsome husband.  My little family means everything to me.  Our family started in 2002 when Sheldon and I were sealed in the Salt Lake City temple.  I remember when we were dating thinking how fun Sheldon was.  He always made me laugh.  I remember sitting in the Salt Lake temple holding Sheldon’s hand before our sealing and how excited I was to start our life together.  Sheldon had just returned from his mission when we met and he was just starting college as a freshman at the beginning of our marriage.  We were so anxious and excited to expand our family and become parents.  Becoming parents didn't come easy and we struggled with infertility for seven years.  Our prayers to become parents were answered when we adopted our son Jace in 2009.  Jace’s birthmother gave us that chance and we will be thankful to her for eternity. 

Sheldon and I were always happy, but becoming parents to our sweet little Jace brought that happiness to a whole new level.  We adored our son and we relished every milestone he reached, every happy moment, and his sweet hugs and kisses.  Sheldon was so proud to become a doctor of optometry and provide for our family and I felt such happiness in being able to stay at home with Jace and teach him new things.  He was learning to count to five and how to say his ABC’s.  Every day, when Sheldon came home from work, Jace and I would run and hide somewhere in the house.  Sheldon would come looking for us and say, “Jace where are you?”  Jace would always give away our hiding location and pop his little head out and say, “Right here!” 

We would eat together every night as a family and talk about our day.  When bed time came, Sheldon would give Jace a bath and then I would get him dressed in his pajamas.  Sheldon would read the scriptures to us while Jace and I played quietly and listened.  We would kneel down and pray together and Jace would always add things he was thankful for when one of us was praying like his blanket, his birth mother, or cousins or whatever we might have done that day.  We would kiss each other good night.  Jace would always give me “nice” kisses and he would always give his daddy “yucky” kisses.  Sheldon would make a yucky sound and say, “Kisses are yucky, ew yuck, and make a funny face.”  Jace would do the same thing and they would kiss goodnight.  Our last night together as a family we had a nice family dinner, ate chocolate cupcakes, and we all cuddled on the couch together and watched a movie.  We were so happy and I am so blessed to be married to such a kind, caring, compassionate man.  He always wanted to make sure I was happy and he never said a mean thing to me.  He loved our son and he loved being a dad.

Last week, we went looking for frogs and Sheldon caught one and let Jace hold it.  Every time the frog jumped out of Jace’s hands, Sheldon would catch it again and again so Jace could keep holding it.  We have many happy memories like that and I will always hold close to my heart.  I know those memories will be what carries me through as I continue to live on this Earth and my husband and son continue to live in the Spirit World.  I am so thankful for the sealing power and the knowledge that I can be together forever with my family.  I am so thankful for the resurrection and the knowledge that there is life after death.  I know that I have felt the Savior put his arms around me at this time.  Jace’s baby blessing brings me great peace.  Sheldon blessed Jace that he would be a special missionary and convert thousands of hearts.  The blessing said that Jace was given to us for him to help us and for us to help him. 

After this earth life there is the Spirit World.  When the Savior comes again to the Earth the Resurrection will occur.  A talk I read called, “The Spirit World, Our Next Home” by Dale C. Mourtisen has brought me great comfort.  He says, “Apparently, there are no infants or children in the spirit world. All who reside there possess the stature of adult men and women, the same appearance they possessed prior to mortal birth. If infants or children die, their spirits immediately resume their former adult stature while in the spirit world. However, when they regain their bodies during the resurrection, they naturally come forth as children to be raised to maturity by righteous and worthy parents.

“Joseph Smith taught the doctrine that the infant child that was laid away in death would come up in the resurrection as a child; and, pointing to the mother of a lifeless child, he said to her: ‘You will have the joy, the pleasure, and satisfaction of nurturing this child, after its resurrection, until it reaches the full stature of its spirit.’ There is restitution, there is growth, there is development, after the resurrection from death. I love this truth. It speaks volumes of happiness, of joy and gratitude to my soul. Thank the Lord he has revealed these principles to us.”  

"The Latter-day Saint view of the spirit world reveals that there is missionary work being performed there. The most magnificent and extensive missionary program the mind can contemplate is centered in the spirit world. President Brigham Young declared: 'Compare those inhabitants on the earth who have heard the Gospel in our day, with the millions who have never heard it, or had the keys of salvation presented to them, and you will conclude at once as I do, that there is an almighty work to perform in the spirit world.”  I know Sheldon and Jace are together and they are fulfilling that work.

 I pray that I will live worthy to watch our little Jace run up to me after the Resurrection.  That he and Sheldon will put their arms around me and we will all embrace again, that Sheldon and I will have that opportunity to raise Jace, and that we can be together forever.        

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen     

A Very Special Weekend!

After Jace's adoption became finalized we were able to have Jace's baby blessing and be sealed together in the Portland Temple. We had an amazing weekend with our family and friends as we celebrated having our sweet son Jace become part of our family forever. It is a weekend I will remember forever and I feel so grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing us to be parents to this special little boy. He means everything to us. Sheldon's family at Jace's baby blessing.

My family at the blessing.

The proud parents!

Here we are at the temple after the sealing.

We were so grateful for the support of all of our family and friends.

New Beginnings Decorations

New Beginnings was a great evening! We had so many women in our ward share their time and talents to help this night be so special. The young women did a great job with their parts in the program and I felt like the night was a success. Thanks to all the women who put in so much time and effort for this evening!


The yw took home these lighthouses as a memento of the evening. They said the new mutual theme on them, “Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

The new Beehives each received a candy lei in all the yw value colors with value tags and ribbons.

On the left is the program and invitation.

Our value lighthouses.

The young women learned a song called, "Lighthouse in the Night" and performed it that night. Click here to listen to it-http://www.jennyphillips.com/music_yw2009.htm

New Beginnings

Just recently I was called as the young women's president in our ward. I felt like a change would be happening with the leaders in the young women's. I was serving as the 1st counselor before. So when I was called, I was surprised but not shocked and I was also super excited. I love the young women in our ward and am always blown away by their desire to serve and do what's right. So I have been the president now for four weeks and we have been anxiously planning New Beginnings. The young women have been learning a song by Jenny Phillips called, "Like a Lighthouse in the Night," and it so beautiful. Every time I hear the girls sing it I want to cry because I can feel the spirit so strong. I am so excited for New Beginnings coming up on Thursday. I know the young women will do a great job and I am so happy to have such wonderful counselors to serve with. They really are such good examples to me.

Another new thing in our lives-Sheldon and I were called as temple workers. We have served for three weeks now and we serve on Saturday mornings from 6:00 a.m. until 12:00 p.m. I have to get up at 4:00 to be ready to leave by 5:00. It's an early morning but the time goes by so fast when we serve there. I love it! I love serving in the temple and learning so much. A few weeks ago I saw a couple about to be married and I was overwhelmed with the spirit testifying to me that temple marriages are eternal marriages. Serving in the temple has been so amazing.

On another note, my teaching job has kept me so busy so between work, my church callings, and trying (not very well I might add) to fulfill my wife/homemaking responsibilities I am very busy. That is why I haven't really posted since after Christmas break. Because everything has been crazy busy.

On the adoption note-nothing new has been happening. We are still on the waiting list and are still waiting. Sheldon and I have been talking about invitro-fertilization as an option. But everything is so expensive we are really trying to figure out how/if we can afford it. I am turning 28 next month and I can't believe I am 28 without any kids. I always thought I would have almost all my kids by the time I was 30. But I guess Heavenly Father has other plans for the Olsen family. I am anxious to know what they are!?!?

Proposition 8 Protecting Marriage

Sheldon and I used to live in downtown Salt Lake City and it is crazy right now in SLC with all the protesters because of the passage of Proposition 8. I was reading an article from a catholic bishop and here is what he has to say and I can agree wholeheartedly:

“I call upon the supporters of same-sex marriage to live by their own words — and to refrain from discrimination against religion and to exercise tolerance for those who differ from them. I call upon them to accept the will of the people of California in the passage of Proposition 8.”

Here's where the article came from.

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/catholic-bishop-decries-religious-bigotry-against-mormons

Sheldon and I were watching the news about the protesting in SLC & LA and we were really shocked that the church would be targeted when in actuality it was a combined decision of the voter's in California that helped prop 8 pass. I can't believe how crazy the world is and how traditional marriage is trying to be redefined for a whole nation.

Here are some news report from KSL:

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=4728411

Conference

I wanted to post for a few reasons. One reason is because I am tired of looking at the pictures of Sheldon and me in the yearbook photos from all the past decades. It was funny at first (to the point where I couldn't stop laughing when I saw them) but now I think it's kind of annoying to look at. So, sorry if they annoyed you too.

Another reason to post is about General Conference. I couldn't watch during the normal times today because I had to take a test called the ORELA for my teaching license. I have been majorly stressed over it and studying for the test like crazy. But I took it this afternoon and I just hope I passed. So back to conference, I started watching this evening the Saturday morning session and I loved President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk on hope-it is my favorite one so far. I am excited to watch the other sessions. It always seems like conference helps lift my spirits.

Happy Birthday Grandma & Some Sad News

I am also late in posting about my Grandma and her birthday. I am so grateful for such a wonderful example of a righteous and loving woman in my life. I have always looked to my Grandma as an example and as a light to emulate. I love her very much and I wish we could be closer to her so we could visit more often. One thing I have always admired about my Grandma is that I have never heard her speak an unkind word about another person. She is always optimistic and views people in the best light. Thank you Grandma for your love, example, and kindness.

The reason I never did post about my Grandma's birthday is because my Aunt Barbara died suddenly the day after my Grandma's birthday. This sent our family into shock because Barbara's death was so unexpected. When I think of my Aunt Barbara I think of a woman who always persevered and never gave up. She had many trials in her life but never gave up on her faith in the gospel and she was also a woman who showed unconditional love to my Grandma and all the people around her. My Grandma and my Aunt Barbara really were best friends and I know everyone misses Barbara. I know my mom is dealing the best she can with loosing a sister. In the picture above Barbara is the second from the left side and my mom is the first on the right side. I was really sad I couldn't attend the funeral service Here is a link to my aunt's obituary: http://www.reviewjournal.com/obituaries/individual_display.jsp?obitID=3779511

Within weeks of the death of my aunt, Sheldon and I received news that his Aunt Kris was reported missing. Her car was found abandoned by a beach and there is no sign of her. They think she might have committed suicide or else fled to another country. She just recently divorced from her husband. We are hoping and praying for her safe return. Here is the news article about it: http://www.redding.com/news/2008/apr/09/crews-seek-missing-woman/

I was just recently put into the young women's organization again and today in church the young women's lesson was on extended families and their importance. I felt the spirit very strong and I felt that I wanted to honor my Grandma and express sadness about the loss of two aunts, one of whom is still missing. It has been a crazy month for our families. I am so grateful for my knowledge of my Savior and the peace and comfort his atonement brings. I am grateful for my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the true happiness it brings to belong to Christ's true church upon this earth. I know that there is a Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ came to this earth to atone for all mankind. I know Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and truly did restore Christ's church again on this earth. I know the Book of Mormon is the word of God and the true happiness it brings by living it's teachings. I often reflect on my membership in the church and how grateful I am for it because my knowledge of these things sustains me when times are troubling or difficult.